“Darrin what are you doing up so late?” Matisola gripped the meat of Darrin’s shoulders massaging slightly. Darrin pushed the tablet towards the back if his desk trying to hide what he knew Marisola suspected.
“Nothing babe, is everything okay? It’s not the baby is it?”
“No! I just wanted you to come to bed. You have been out here for some time and I get lonely.” Marisola seductively flirted with Darrin.
“I will be there in a few.” Darrin responded short and dry as he was busy writing his thoughts. He missed Joy and He needed to speak with her. He needed to gain some closure on the matter. Sure He loved Marisola and his unborn child but there were many issues that still haunted him when it came to Joy. Darrin pondered as he watched Marisola switch back to his master bedroom. She was a hot number and her presence fulfilled the hole in his heart up until Ashley’s death.
Marisola served as a great scapegoat she seemed to suppress his feelings of guilt and pain. During the hours of the day that is, the night owl plagued him nightly. He dreaded the moons presence. Marisola was a nice addition to his lifestyle but her getting pregnant threw a wrench in his cozy stress free relations. He wasn't ready for Ashley twelve years prior and he admitted that fact to Joy. They were young, and fresh out of college they knew nothing about the real world or where their careers would land or begin for that matter.
Darrin confessed to abandoning Ashley and Joy out of fear, and he was admitting to himself that he was getting those same feelings of fear snapping him back into reality. He wasn’t sure he was ready for fatherhood. The anxiety was taking its toll. Darrin felt guilty when he smiled at the thought of his new born baby. He couldn't tell Joy anything regarding the child he just couldn't stand to see the look in her eyes.
Darrin stood up and decided he would take a stroll onto the balcony of his upstairs office. He was in awe of the nights beauty but fearful of it just the same. Darrin grabbed the bars of the balcony and looked down onto the bed of roses that lined his driveway. He was devastated and holding on to so much pain. It was a wonder he hadn't fallen to pieces. Darrin shook his head as he punched into the palms of his hands. He felt the release coming on. The quiet of the night would lead him to peace. Crying out to the moons stars he sobbed like a baby his shoulders violently shaking as the tears flowed heavily.
Marisola heard the ruckus she was snooping as usual creeping behind loitering about Darrin’s desk. She peeked at his letter of solitude.
“What is this?” She yelled from across the room. Darrin was startled at her outburst and then astonished at her boldness. Became
“Darrin I am sick and tired of this shit. Are you still in love with this Bitch? Am I just here for show?” Marisola began speaking gibberish in Spanish harsh words Darrin knew.
“I don't know.” he responded. “I just don't know. I do know that I love you and the baby you are carrying. I just have some unfinished issues to address. We just lost our child, Marisola.”
“Yes a child you hadn’t seen or been in contact with for more than ten years. Or did you forget that bit of information?”
“So…, I am not supposed to feel pain? I can't believe you would say that. I loved Ashley I just didn't know how to be a father. I was a young, stupid, and selfish, man. If I had it to do it all over again, I would.”
Darrin threw his hands to the sky and rubbed his head. Marisola was quiet she was saddened by the truths Darrin spoke. She was afraid of where she stood in the equation.
“So what is this...some kind of front?”
“No babe, this WAS me trying to get over my past and make a future. A future with you, I thought…I won’t lie to you about my feelings for Joy. I will say that I wouldn't act on them. I am just not that type of dude. I am committed to you. I am just worried about her. She hasn't answered any of my letters or phone calls. The only contact I have had with anyone is with Sam, and she is such a liar, I know she wouldn’t tell me anything if I paid her. She just said that she wasn’t well.”
“Wait!” Marisola was confused and enraged. Letter’s… phone calls, what the fuck Darrin?” Marisola was so angry. She struggled to speak.
“Get out Darrin! Just go please.”
Darrin grabbed for his keys. He walked briskly towards the door then stopped dead in his tracks. He thought about the matter at hand. Darrin smiled at the thought of him leaving his own home. He could have been a real asshole and put her ass out, but he was sensitive to her pregnancy. Without a second glance he started towards the door with a dismissive hand. Chuckling he snickered, “I’ll let you have this one.” Darrin could taste the Hennessey, and Corona miles away from the bar. He would make it there by ten he calculated. Just enough time to drink his troubles under a table and get him-self thrown out on his ass.
Marisola smashed the glass of water she gripped onto the top of Darrin’s cherry desk.
“You pregnant and I get that but there’s nothing protecting yo face. You should be sure to remember that I am still in recovery.”
Marisola was mad she just couldn’t stop herself. “I can’t understand why you even went to Joy in regards to Ashley in the first place. It’s not like Ash ever asked to see you. Joy and her man weren’t hurting for anything.” Marisola was pushing buttons she knew were forbidden but the heat in her chest from the jealous rage had burst into a fiery flame. She was sick of the whole ordeal. She admitted she played along with Darrin and his shenangins because she wanted him to be happy. However she too had needs. She hated to admit her glee about the dissipation of Ashley’s commemoration into the family. She didn’t think she could take looking at a child she knew Darrin Fathered with another woman. A woman she knew him to compare her to.
Marisola gritted her teeth at the smug look Darrin wore on his face. He didn’t seem to be at all bothered about admitting his undying love for Joy, no matter how heartbroken she became in the process.
“I am going to leave, just as you asked.” Darrin knew that his patience was growing thin. The very fact that he didn’t have liquor on his breath saved her life. Turning his back he left, slamming the door behind him.
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